Pilgrimage to Portland: th/9th May 2004

In the beginning.

At approximately 17:38 on Friday the 7th May St.Andrew (a.k.a. La Monkey) knocked on my door. 'Chocks away', he yelled enthusiastically. Shame he hadn't really grasped the concept that the weekend was likely to be a 'Baptism of Fire & Brimstone', [Gospel according to St.Dave, Chapter 1 Verse 2 of his Lord Almighty's bible, "Ivor Diverlotski"!]..

Then there were three.

The force pulled us towards St.Mike's abode. After we filled our chariot full of the blessed gear we set off for the Infamous 'Jolly Sailor', a well known and loved 5 star hotel situated on the dockside of Portland. Some time passed.

Then there were five.

We found St.John & St.Jason propping up the bar drinking some form of Ale that the landlord had pumped out of the trough earlier on the day.

Huddled in a corner were the followers&ldots; 'Hefin the believer', 'Damo the worshiper', 'Jason Cox the helper' & 'Mike the doubter '. After much merriment the crew left their blessings with the great 'Ivor Diverlotski' and then went to bed.

The Baptism of Fire & Brimstone.

It was a wet & windy Saturday morning when the 8 got onboard 'The Protector'. The skipper also named Ivor (his mother was a believer) pointed us towards the wreck St.Dunston. Unfortunately after a mere 10mins in a force 5 the devil struck St.John down! After much throwing up and applauds from the other followers, Ivor pointed the boat towards the Wreck 'Beinjecidsfhgnsuogb'.

It was an interesting wreck dive to 28m. St.Mike, Dave, Jason, Damo & Andrew were successful. As John lost Jason in the first two minutes of entering the water he participated in a solo descent to the sandy bottom (he'd missed the wreck) then a solo ascent up again. On surfacing the devil again tormented John making him cover his own re-breather with bile! Unfortunately Hefin had weight problems and so he and Jason Cox couldn't get down. As for 'Mike the doubter' he wisely stayed onboard and drank hot chocolate.

After lunch (kindly provided by Ivor) we all (except St.John & Mike the doubter) went for a jaunt on a wreck outside Portland harbour. A nice little dive to 8m where we saw cuttlefish and a choffin spider crab.

The last supper / evening meal

After a quick freshen up in the Jolly Sailor's 5 star showers we all trundled off to Weymouth for the obligatory curry. Back at the Jolly Sailor we all stayed awake until 3am listening to the band playing three floors below us! May I say how kind it was of the pub land lord to provide us with such wonderful free entertainment!